How My Breasts Terrified a Farmers’ Market

When I’m not traveling, I try to keep my habits as healthy as possible–well, because it is really difficult to keep up good habits on the road.

fit bit

Because of this, I spend my weekends home going to Farmers’ Markets, picking up fresh produce and other local products.  The other thing I’ve been doing (which I’m writing more about later) is using a FitBit to track my walking.  This is for at-home and travel, because I noticed I don’t walk much in some places I go to.

I’m still in the process of testing the FitBit out, but one of its features is that it won’t let you sleep late.  It emits a light buzzing that is supposed to wake you up and not your partner.

Another feature it has is a sleep-tracker.  FitBit lets you know how well you sleep and how much you woke up.  This is awesome, and I’ve also learned I sleep like a rock.  Here are two nights in a row for me:


fit bit sleep 2

Those bedtimes are really late for me usually, but what can I say? The Hallmark Channel started showing Murder She Wrote episodes later than usual.

Because I was going to bed so late, I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss the early morning farmers’ market on Saturday.  I set the anti-oversleep feature on the FitBit website (you do not control it through the device itself) and went to bed.

I was so eager to get to the Farmers’ Market, I woke up in time.  I verified on the website that FitBit knew I was awake and headed out the door, FitBit in tow.  Or rather, I should say, in bra.

The FitBit’s suggested method of carrying it around is in your bra–and well, I’ve found this to be really effective.

How to wear your Fitbit One

I was in the middle of buying some veggies from a vendor, when I heard a BZZ BZZ sound.  The vendor and people shopping around me noticed too.

I looked down, and my entire bussom was shaking.

What the…?

And that is how I learned the FitBit does not automatically shut off the anti-oversleep alarm automatically, even though it knew I was awake.

I figured I’d ignore it and it would shut off eventually.  That would be too easy.  I was getting suspicious glances from the over-paranoid Washington, DC crowd.  After all, there have been actual threats involving fake boobs.

I finally realized I have to shut this thing off.  The Farmers’ Market is an open area, so there’s no corner to dive into.  So I swallowed my pride, turned towards the edge of one of the tents, and dug around until I figured out how to shut the darn thing off.

I looked up and saw about six people, staring at me, mouths agape.  Probably wondering how the hell I snoozed my boobs.

Always an adventure.  At least I’m not actually a FemBot.


Disclosure: If you purchase items from my Amazon links, I receive a small bit of affiliate credit.  If you purchase a FitBit, please do not do as I do, and definitely be especially careful in an airport.  I appreciate your support!


About Jeanne Marie Hoffman

Former bartender, still a geek. One equal part each cookies, liberty, football, music, travel, libations. Stir vigorously. +Jeanne Marie Hoffman Jeanne on Twitter

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  1. This would not have been good thing to happen at the airport.

    • Jeanne Marie Hoffman

      They were randomly wanding people for metals at a sporting event I went too also, and immediately made sure to tell them about the FitBit.

  2. Only you Jeanne, only you. You will LOVE the Fitbit. I’m so glad Karen told me about. I actually recently lost mine (I had a first gen Ultra) and had to immediately replace it with the new One. I can’t live without this thing.

  3. Ha ha! Sounds like something that would happen to me 🙂

  4. I used to clip mine (it was original that sadly died) to my left bra strap/cup. Since I don’t have a smartphone to sync it with, and was obsessed with my step count, I would find ways to discreetly check it. Unless I was at the gym or derby practice. Then I didn’t care and would shameless check it. It’s funny when someone asks if you know what time it is. I would refer to my fitbit, and get really really strange looks. “Yes, I can tell you the time. Let me refer to my left breast.” At derby practice, this became known as “boob time.”

  5. That is hilarious. I may have to get one for my wife and randomly set the alarm to see how she reacts when it goes off. 😛

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