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In the realm of things I didn’t know could actually exist, Champagne bongs are a thing. Â What is a champagne bong? Â Well, I’ll tell you.
Known to the hip as “Champbongs”, this product will help you chug that bottle of sparkling. Â I wish I were kidding.
The Champagne Bong
From the champagne bong’s product description:
A device used for the rapid and enhanced experience of of sparkling wine / champagne consumption.It’ll make you friends. Land you that big promotion. Fill the void. Mic drop. Walk off home run. Pick up mic. Crush karaoke. Make your parents proud.
 …Why not push the limits of party science? We are artists, dancers, drinkers glass blowers, businessmen, scientists and friends with a belief that friendship and community are key to a happy life. That’s why we weren’t satisfied with the current champagne drinking experience.
We want classy without pretension. Rituals without exclusivity. And most importantly, an experience that feels magical.
We now have the technology.  Experimentation, research, field testing, field testing, and more field testing led us to an elegant solution….the Chambong.
We made the perfect champagne drinking device and now, it’s available to you.
And it gets even better with the reviews:
Have you ever wanted to drink champagne really fast? Now you can! This is a very fun and unnecessary way to drink champagne but I love it! And so do my friends. Thanks Chambong, for letting me party hard while still staying classy AF.
Definitely a worthwhile investment. With each chambong hit my quality of life improves by a solid 10%. By far the best way I’ve found to down a $1000 magnum bottle of 1996 Dom before the bubbles go flat.
Well, there you have it. Â A solid way to chug your 1996 Dom–through a champagne bong.
Would you chambong?
Well I guess now I know what to bring on my next CX F flight