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Can You Smuggle Wine Through Security in Your Bra?

Last year, I was in search of a new wine rack.  The first result Amazon.com gave me was surprising:

Wine rack
Literally a wine rack.

So, of course, I tweeted it.  Which, of course, got me my only mention on an esteemed Duke University Professor’s blog.  (What can I say?  I’m classy).

Something reminded me of the wine rack today, and I got to thinking–would this actually violate any TSA security rules?  And can you make it through security with the wine rack?

The subject of bras and security came up on this blog before. There was a case of a man whose falsies were confiscated at TSA security, and I found out the TSA rules on falsies and augmented bras are gender-neutral, so as long as he wore his falsies through security, he was okay.  (TSA now has a section on traveling when transgendered, which also contains rules that apply for cross-dressing travel).

What if my choice of, er, augmentation is wine?

First, can I bring wine through security?

Believe it or not, you can.  Just in 3 ounce forms.

Bottles of alcohol 3.4 ounces or less must adhere to the 3-1-1 rule for liquids: containers must be 3.4 ounces or less; stored in a 1 quart/liter zip-top bag; 1 zip-top bag per person, placed in the screening bin. Larger amounts of liquids, gels, and aerosols must be placed in checked baggage.

Okay, now, can I bring wine in my bra through security?

For a while, the TSA seemed completely unaware that women wear padded bras, and that this padding is usually made out of liquid.

First they suggested checking your gel bras.  After an outcry from both breast cancer survival groups and people who didn’t want to buy bras just for going through security, TSA slowly amended the law from allowing medically “necessary” gel bras (which is an odd categorization) to allowing necessary and cosmetic.

The rule was changed to allowing (emphasis mine):

Items used to augment the body for medical or cosmetic reasons such as mastectomy products, prosthetic breasts, bras or shells containing gels, saline solution, or other liquids;

Under this rule, you’re allowed to augment your breasts with any liquid as long as you are doing it for cosmetic reasons.

3-1-1Now, this specific rule has disappeared off the TSA website (even though it has been cited recently by many airlines), but I don’t think this is a change in policy.  In fact, it looks like any mention of bras has disappeared from the website.  I think they were just simplifying their 3-1-1 policy and cut out this info (I could imagine there would be an uproar otherwise).  The current rules on transgendered policies solidifies this for me, since they accentuate (no pun intended) the right to prosthetics.

So, should you transport wine through security in your bra?  It appears to be okay to take through security, but that doesn’t mean it is okay to take on-board and drink it.

FAA rules say:

Alcoholic beverages.

(a) No person may drink any alcoholic beverage aboard an aircraft unless the certificate holder operating the aircraft has served that beverage to him.

You cannot drink alcohol on board unless it is served to you by a flight attendant.  While that’s possible I suppose, it would be extremely awkward given the location of the wine.

YMMV.

Please note: If you purchase this item, I will receive affiliate credit, but… er… don’t. Don’t.

About Jeanne Marie Hoffman

Former bartender, still a geek. One equal part each cookies, liberty, football, music, travel, libations. Stir vigorously. +Jeanne Marie Hoffman Jeanne on Twitter

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5 comments

  1. Given the effect that enough alcohol can have on a person (read: “beer goggles”), I would assert that a wine-filled bra is, by definition, cosmetic.

  2. The internet is a scary place sometimes…

  3. Great sleuthing. Wine in the bra is just another material weakness in the TSA’s illusion of security theater. Google “TSA Shoulder Syndrome” for more ways to get around the TSA’s illegal and immoral restrictions on our travel freedoms…

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